Tough Love
by Tsukiyo Hime
Summary: Takes place after Mamoru had those dreams his POV. Basically his version of "Broken Heart" PG for one curse word.


Disclaimer  
I don't own Sailor Moon…a bunch of Japanese companies and people do. I don't know all of the people who own it but know they do and I don't. Second of all the song in this fic is called "The Hardest Thing" and it's by 98o.   
Summary  
This is a one-shot song fic…it's based on the time when Mamoru left Usagi because of those dreams. It's from his point of view once he goes back to his apartment.   
Archive  
You can archive just please let me know first. I'd also like the link and of course credit.  
Author  
Moonlight Princess  
Tsukiyo Hime  
  
  
  
I jammed the key into the lock of my apartment and twisted it dejectedly. My door creaked open and I slowly walked in with my eyes to the floor. I shut the door behind me, throwing my keys onto the coffee table and fell into the couch. I clicked the 'power' button on my stereo remote and threw the remote beside me onto the couch.  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do I propped my elbows on my knees and leaned my head on my palms. You have no idea how hard it is. Do you know how much I'm hurting? I deserve it though for doing this to you  
  
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you I closed my eyes and sighed then wiped my hand across my face before I started to cry. You know what it was like to see your face then? You looked so shattered.  
  
*It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie* I leaned my head back onto the couch, keeping my eyes closed. It's the worst lie I could ever tell. It's a horrible thing to do…I'm sorry. I don't want you to hurt, I hate myself. I am that insensitive jerk you thought I was.  
  
*To show no emotion when you start to cry* I took a deep breath as I felt hot tears on my face. I saw you there Usako. I know you sobbed in that phone booth. Do you know how much I wanted to hold you? Of course you don't, you think I hate you.  
  
*I can't let you see what you mean to me* I harshly wiped the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand and opened my eyes. I glared at nothing in particular and crossed my arms over my chest angrily. Damnit! I'm such a jerk! I can't let you be near me, my love. You'll get hurt more then the pain you feel now.  
  
*We're not meant to be* I stood up and kicked the coffee table, sending it and my keys flying into my wall. The table crashed and splintered at the impact and my keys laid beneath the ruble. I wish we could be together so badly. I want to hold you, kiss you, so much.  
  
*It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do* I fell back into my couch and let the tears fall again. I hate this; I can't be without you. I can't stand seeing you hurt, seeing you cry. You shouldn't hurt; you care too much about others.  
  
*To turn around and walk away pretending I don't love you* I propped my elbows on my knees again and hid my face in my hands. I took in short gasping breaths as I sobbed loudly. I had to force myself to walk away. I don't think I can keep myself from loving you if you try to get me to love you again. I know you'll try it and it'll break my heart and yours.  
  
*I know that we'll meet again, fate has a time and place* I sighed and slowly ceased crying but stayed in the same position. I left the tears to dry on my face and closed my eyes behind my hands. Maybe you'll be out of danger when we meet again. I only wish I could keep you safe now.  
  
*So you can get on with your life* I lowered my arms and raised my head as I stood. I walked past the stereo, turning it up as I walked into the bathroom. Please Usako, get on with your life. It'll make things easier for us both. Find someone else, forget me.  
  
*I've got to be cruel to be kind* I turned on the water and splashed some on my face. I wish I didn't have to do it this way. At least you'll live. I couldn't let anything happen to you. It hurts though, not to be with you, but at least you're alive.  
  
*Like Dr. Zhivago, all my love I'll be sending, and you'll never know* I shut the water off and stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection. I'll send you my love Usako; it'll be with you always. You'll never know how I feel though, you think I hate you.  
  
*'Cause there can be happy ending* I leaned forward and lightly hit my head against the mirror. Small tears fell down my cheeks. I'd do anything to make things turn out all right. Things just can't be happy for us my love. Don't try to get me back it'll hurt you if I give in. If we stay together it will just end with you getting hurt, please find someone else to love.  
  
The song's words faded from my mind, as I was lost in my thoughts. I don't want Usako to be in pain but there's no other way, this is the only way I can protect her. I heard the radio again as I started to walk out of the bathroom. "That was for all those guys who've left the girl they love." The DJ said as the intro of another song played.  
  
*I think I've already lost you*  
*I think you're already gone*  
*I think I'm finally scared now*  
*You think I'm weak, I think you're wrong*  
  
"Oh Usako." I sobbed and turned my stereo off as I walked to my couch. I lay across the couch and closed my eyes. I tossed and turned restlessly before I fell into a sleep and still had the same dream about Usako getting hurt.  
  
  



End file.
